Existential Musings

Ah yes, it’s been awhile but I’ve made my return to the world of blogging.  I feel like the 56-year-old dude who’s finally deciding to get into this after reading about in the New York Times circa 2003.  I don’t know why I’m implored to write this as if I’m a real columnist speaking to a true audience, but I do it anyway.  I know there’s but one person other than myself who might read this, and it’s irrelevant to mention his name, since he knows who he is.

I think it’s time we dove right into what’s been piquing my interest these past several weeks.  About three weeks ago I was reading Carl Sagan’s Cosmos when I came across his musings on the Fermi Paradox.  The Fermi Paradox is the question that was posed by the great 20th century physicist Enrico Fermi on why there were no observable signs of extraterrestrial intelligence in our corner of the universe.  If the Earth is nothing special, if life could exist on other Earth-like worlds, and even if those worlds were incredibly rare and the evolution of higher intelligence on those worlds even rarer, there should still be many intelligent civilizations even in our own galaxy (as there are trillions of stars in the Milky Way).  Even by the ultra-slow space travel speeds of the 1960s, it could be reasonable to expect that an expanding population of little green men would be able to colonize the entire Milky Way in the span of a few tens of thousands of years.  If intelligence had appeared on just one other planet in our galaxy 50,000 years before humans appeared on Earth, it would be likely that they’d have already set up shop in our own solar system.  Only they haven’t, at least as far as we can tell (UFO conspiracy theories aside, of course). 

This all brings up a plethora of little thought experiments to explore.  If you take the Fermi Paradox to be based on reasonable assumptions, that the Earth is not particularly special in the universe and that life similar to Earth-bound organisms could arise on similar planets elsewhere, then I would expect you to be as struck by the notion as much as I am.  What does it all mean?  Carl Sagan thought it was proof that either technologically advanced civilizations occurred so very rarely in the universe that we ourselves are the only such civilization in existence right now, or that perhaps advanced civilizations tended to quickly wipe themselves out after appearing (which was a theme in Cosmos, specifically nuclear annihilation).  Certainly, there are several hypotheses that attempt to solve the paradox.  A simple approach is that other civilizations do exist, but our human-centric view biases our ability to observe a fellow advanced race (we can only detect their radio emissions, and we can only search for those in a very limited fashion).  Perhaps Sagan is right in his second notion, that any advanced race is quickly done in by their own success (humanity’s time on Earth is exceptionally quick in stellar timeframes).  Another posit is the Rare Earth Hypothesis, that the conditions that led to our evolution on this planet, in this galaxy, and in this universe are so highly, highly unlikely that one might assume it to be impossible.  I like to explore this idea, as I do have a solid belief in a diety, even if I may not be particularly religious.  Plus it’s always good to think you’re very special. 

This is where I get hung up in an endless loop of thought.  My mind is stuck somewhere pondering the possible answers.  Do all advanced civilizations wipe themselves out, somehow?  Do they determine that it’s not economically feasible, stay on their home planet, develop artificial intelligence, and plug themselves into the machines (see Ray Kurzweil for more on that idea)?  Or are we the only intelligent lifeforms in the universe because the universe was created specifically for us?  The answers to the paradox either predict our future, or aim to prove our uniqueness and perhaps a sense of spiritual affirmation.  I’d like to believe the former two posits are not necessarily true, and that there are reasons unknown why we haven’t seen other life, or that perhaps we are the only life because that’s how it was all planned.  Or, if you read a proof by a man named Nick Bostrom, the answer to the paradox is that we’re living in a fine-tuned computer simulation, a la the Matrix (yes, he has a mathematical proof for this, given some initial assumptions).  In short, there is no “right” answer, and it’s all very interesting to think about.

Worst Product Design Ever

Today the fiancee and I purchased a brand new desktop computer. The experience was absolutely enthralling; I got online at about 7 am, found a computer, bought it, and picked it up from the store after work. Then I got home and realized the folks at both HP and Microsoft are absolutely sadistic and hate people with hand arthritis.

Most of this anger is directed solely at the Microsoft Office case, which is easy one of the dumbest designs for a case I have ever seen. It wasn’t the fact that I ended up needing a flathead screwdriver to pry open the box, not even close. It’s the fact that they went as far as to deceive the unwitting consumer by placing cute little hinges on the sides, and these neat little flaps that look like little snaps. They’re just adorable. But the case doesn’t open like a book, or even like a case; it opens like a highly mechanized sarcophagus. While I did marginally enjoy the challenge of opening this case, it’s really not worth it. Why would you make someone open the box for an hour?

I’m pretty sure this post makes me look like a whiner. And guess what: you now know one more thing about me (Tim you already knew this).

How Could Anyone Be Afraid of the Future?

So apparently Apple has an app on the iPhone where you can take a picture of something, anything really, and it gives you a relavence search based upon the image you captured. What usefulness this I’m not quite sure, since unfortunately Blackberry does not provide such app, but I’m sure it’s amazing. Really, ten years ago when you were in the chat rooms reading random whatnot with strong sexual overtones, did you ever think you might have a device that would use that same medium (the Internet, not the chat room on AOL) to compare whatever lame ass picture you’d take with your cell phone (also a foreign concept) to other like images from anywhere else.

Which is precisely why it’s silly to fear the future. If instead of writing this blog (from my telephone no less!) I managed to transport back into time and tell my younger self about said feature, I’d be quite astounded. Next time you’re terrified of 2019, think of two things: things probably won’t be anything like Blade Runner (took palce in 2019), and your cell phone will likely be amazing. And if we’re real lucky, the recession might have ended and we’ll all get together and go out and buy one.

I’m sorry if this post didn’t convince you to not fear the future; I just got very excited about the idea and feasibility of picture recognition and relavence searches and needed to tell the world.

A True Sign You’re Not a Gangbanger

Ever taken the time to perhaps do some basic research on where the gangs might be located in your city? It’s certainly not an unreasonable thing to do, especially should you be in the market for a first house, perhaps curious about the neighbors in your apartment complex, or particularly frightened by a show on the History channel on a random a Tuesday night. If you’re like me, and if you happen to be reading this wholly obscure blog you most certainly are, then you’ve probably made your favorite search engine the focal point of your search (I’m wasn’t in the mood to be particularly different and just used Google). Should you be worried that your Internet search might tip off the local authorities, breathe a sigh of relief my friend: no true gangbanger starts his career through a crafty Google search.

In fact, forget about your search bearing any fruit. Not surprisingly, it’s incredibly hard to find real facts about anything for local gangs. The most productive item I came across was a forum on city-data.com, which of course quickly devolved into a heated exchange between the paranoid, ex-Marine, concealed carry guy and the trendy, young law student (with absolutely no one in 9 pages answering the inital post, “Where are the gangs located in Columbus?”). Yes, from one point of view you could say that the police probably should make a map of sorts available to the public for safety purposes, but I’d side with the officers who would point out that they’d rather keep that under wraps. No need to publicize where eager future members should go to sign up.

If you’re really concerned about where the gangs are in your hometown, maybe searching for the locations of fellow curious denziens searching for gangs on the Internet needs to be your first step. If anything, you’ll know exactly where in town the gangs definitely AREN’T, which, of course, answers your original question anyway.

Today’s Economic Malaise Might be Missing the Point

Amist the past four months of talk about the coming Second Depression, has it every occured to you that perhaps this whole thing is a bit silly?  Of course, millions are losing their homes each day, millions more have less value in their house than they used to, thousands are losing jobs, and everyone is terrified of their 401(k) statements.  But honestly, at a very core level, don’t we all want the same basic things as we did last year at this time?  Don’t we go to our jobs every day, and, basically, aren’t we trying to earn as much money as we reasonably can from said job every day?  Don’t we have the same financial goals, or at the very least, set of wants and desires that we did twelve months ago? 

Of course, this is where capitalist economies stumble.  In your entry-level microeconomics class you probably learned about indifference curves and utility, and how the rational consumer wishes to maximize utility along their indiffernce curves whenever possible.  In the real world, however, this all proves to be fancy academic wonderment vaguely trying to explain how average people feel when they make financial decisions.  Economists (and analysts, reporters, pundits, etc.) usually miss the point in assuming real-world humans are anything close to rational.